Boys. They have been a topic of conversation among the moms that I know. I’m not going to go into the difference between boys and girls here. But I will say that my girls are hard-working, on-top-of-things, organized students. My boys? They’ve needed to be rescued a few times….
I saw it all the time when I was substitute teaching junior high students. The boys that couldn’t focus, that forgot their homework, their book, etc…. I’m not saying that there aren’t girls who struggle with organizational skills. But, in general, the girls aim to please.
The elementary school used to present several awards at the end of the quarter. The students were selected by the teachers. It was almost always girls. I used to cheer when a boy won! I have a soft spot for the boys. They need guidance, and sometimes rescuing, and taming….
It’s a fine line between teaching them responsibility and letting them suffer the consequences – and – helping them to achieve success. At what point do you let go?
That’s hard for me to define. But I wanted my kids to succeed, especially if they wanted to.
So if he forgot his lunch? I drove it to the school RESCUED!
Forgot his saxophone for band lessons that I paid extra for? I drove it to the school. RESCUED! (for the price of one, very public kiss in the schoolyard.)
Got caught secretly ringing a doorbell in a classroom? BUSTED! Demerit!
Demerit for throwing something across the room that he said he didn’t do? BUSTED! After we discussed it and realized he really did throw it….
Are you getting the idea?
This thought came to me this weekend as I was driving to the library to get a book that my son left at school. I was worried that the homework was due on Monday. He has plenty of academic challenges and I didn’t want to set him back. RESCUED! Although, he was right, it wasn’t due until Tuesday.
How many times do we rescue our boys???
My son knocked over a Stop sign because “the steering wheel locked.” BUSTED! Dad is no dummy. Oh yeah, that was only $1,500 to repair.
Through the ups and downs, I feel that the times I have rescued my boys has demonstrated that I love them. The times that they had punishments have taught them that their decisions will have consequences. Sometimes the consequence is a natural result of what they did – other times – a punishment from us. Every once in a while – both.
After being rescued, young men need to be tamed…but that’s another post.
For those of you just entering this phase, my experience has said that love and consistency has led to a mature young man. He’s hard-working, as organized as a musician can possibly be, and a good person.
Fell asleep during his girlfriend’s recital, while sitting next to her parents….BUSTED! Sorry, you’re on your own for that one.