Boys. They have been a topic of conversation among the moms that I know. I’m not going to go into the difference between boys and girls here. But I will say that my girls are hard-working, on-top-of-things, organized students. My boys? They’ve needed to be rescued a few times….
I saw it all the time when I was substitute teaching junior high students. The boys that couldn’t focus, that forgot their homework, their book, etc…. I’m not saying that there aren’t girls who struggle with organizational skills. But, in general, the girls aim to please.
The elementary school used to present several awards at the end of the quarter. The students were selected by the teachers. It was almost always girls. I used to cheer when a boy won! I have a soft spot for the boys. They need guidance, and sometimes rescuing, and taming….
It’s a fine line between teaching them responsibility and letting them suffer the consequences – and – helping them to achieve success. At what point do you let go?
That’s hard for me to define. But I wanted my kids to succeed, especially if they wanted to.
So if he forgot his lunch? I drove it to the school RESCUED!
Forgot his saxophone for band lessons that I paid extra for? I drove it to the school. RESCUED! (for the price of one, very public kiss in the schoolyard.)
Got caught secretly ringing a doorbell in a classroom? BUSTED! Demerit!
Demerit for throwing something across the room that he said he didn’t do? BUSTED! After we discussed it and realized he really did throw it….
Are you getting the idea?
This thought came to me this weekend as I was driving to the library to get a book that my son left at school. I was worried that the homework was due on Monday. He has plenty of academic challenges and I didn’t want to set him back. RESCUED! Although, he was right, it wasn’t due until Tuesday.
How many times do we rescue our boys???
My son knocked over a Stop sign because “the steering wheel locked.” BUSTED! Dad is no dummy. Oh yeah, that was only $1,500 to repair.
Through the ups and downs, I feel that the times I have rescued my boys has demonstrated that I love them. The times that they had punishments have taught them that their decisions will have consequences. Sometimes the consequence is a natural result of what they did – other times – a punishment from us. Every once in a while – both.
After being rescued, young men need to be tamed…but that’s another post.
For those of you just entering this phase, my experience has said that love and consistency has led to a mature young man. He’s hard-working, as organized as a musician can possibly be, and a good person.
Fell asleep during his girlfriend’s recital, while sitting next to her parents….BUSTED! Sorry, you’re on your own for that one.
Thinking SO much about this subject…another cell phone (this was the back-up, Dad’s OLD phone) in the rice…left out in the rain for 3 days. Did he look hard enough for it? No. Didn’t look hard enough for the one before that, that we found outside too. This happened last year and I gave him mine for a couple days then decided I was TOTALLY enabling. If you lose, break your cell phone as an adult…you don’t have one! Then you learn…I need to be more careful. So this time…what am I doing? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. He will have to figure it out. Find a used one and pay for it himself maybe? Honestly I have no idea.
BUT I so agree that there is a fine line with boys needing a little helping hand. I just think their brains work different-Abbey had never forgotten a thing in her life honestly!
Oh , Jane — this is perfect for me this week! You know I really look up to you as a mom. All the rescues and all the times they are busted — such a fine balance. May our sons look back one day and realize we do it with love.
This is funny. And the case with most boys/girls. I have the rare ADD in females and my poor mom, who thought she had a girl, didn’t get what she bargained for. She always had to bail me out, I was the only girl held in at recess with the boys for misbehaving, I was always sitting on the bench for speaking out of turn. (you might have guessed that about me). And Poppy? Well, I just stopped bringing her lunch in third grade. They must have thought I was a cruel mom, but I thought eating the peanut butter sandwiches they made would teach her to remember. Turns out she liked them better than my lunches. Just count your blessings that your boys are typical boys and your girls are typical girls.
Oh, yes. Sometimes there has to be a rescue, and sometimes not! You just have to know where to draw the line, and clearly, you do.
LOL! Yes…boys are always needing to be busted!!!
I find I am either crying or laughing too hard because of my older three boys. The newest little testosterone filled baby boy is proving to be interesting to watch….I think I will be doing a lot of rescuing sooner than later because he thinks he can do the things his 15, 12, and 9 year old brother can!
Boys are wired very differently!! Not wrong, not badly…just differently ;)!
I don’t have any children of my own. I’m just a Kindergarten teacher so I’ve seen many boys pass through my doors. I just recently read Wild Things: The Art of Taming Boys and thoroughly enjoyed it. I feel as though the boys are the ones falling through the cracks. Schools aren’t made for them. I picked up some tips on how to make school more accessible to the boy students I receive each year but I can only do so much. It is up to his parents to lay the groundwork for helping him turn into an honorable young man. From the looks of it, you’ve done well with your older boy thus far. 🙂