Are you the type of person who can’t wait to do something and then as soon as you are doing it you wish it was over?

Are you the type that celebrates all that you enjoyed and accomplished?  Or do you lament all the things you did not do?

Just like the “Should Be’s” and Doubt, sometimes lament creeps into my head.

I anticipate and look forward to the loose structure of summer, the fun, the beach, not making lunches, warm temperatures…..

I have lists in my mind of all the things I want to do….Annie created her summer “bucket list.” (She knocked quite a few things off of it, too.  One of those included gluing money to the sidewalk.  Yes, there is a quarter and a penny for the taking – or should I say, chipping.  She felt bad when the neighbor kids tried to pick it up…)

It has been a flurry of activity this summer.  The college kids were home in May. Moving back, settling in, visits from friends.  They both worked really hard and long, irregular hours.  My daughter was usually up at 7 AM running and/or heading off to work while my son’s jobs could keep him out until 3 or 4:00 AM.  Yes, that’s AM! I no longer stay up for him, but you might imagine that this “unscheduled” summer is anything but.

At times I felt like an air traffic controller.  Even if I wasn’t driving kids places, I was managing cars and times and meals and my sewing.  It was draining.

It is hard not to let a bit of lament creep into the mind.  Yes, I ran with my daughter many mornings and should celebrate that. Yes, I saw my son play piano many evenings. Yes, we enjoyed a mini-vacation and days at the beach, bike rides, sea glass hunts, family picnics and reunions galore….

But as summer comes to a close, I can’t help but lament the things I didn’t do.  I didn’t have that quiet conversation on the couch…I didn’t play Myst with my son….I didn’t get to explore that new neighborhood….

Do you lament what you didn’t do or celebrate and cherish the things you did?  As much as I crave the return to schedule that the school year brings, there is still some lingering guilt that I didn’t do it all.

Annie painted this on using a freezer paper stencil.

An evening trip to the beach last night – before Annie’s first day of school – and because I promised….

It was gorgeous. Only a few people were there. There was a nip in the air, but the water was warm. The long shadows, the sunset, the sailboats….

The closing days of summer….

We had a wonderful summer as a family….

And yet…

(Listening to O’Neill Brother’s Journey….love the song “Farewell“.)